Vietnam: Train Trip to Hue

I board the 23:00 train south to Hue.  I'm gonna be cruisin' in style with a soft sleeper ticket.  When the boarding gates are opened I join the asian train scramble to get on board.  (One does not simply walk onto a train in asia - you scramble).

Or if you're the boss, you swagger.

I'm sharing a cabin with a Vietnamese family and a friend, and I notice my train ticket doesn't say "Foreigner" on it like tourists usually get.  The viets speak very little english - and one man in particular who seems especially keen to talk - has zero English capability.
It's fun to communicate using hand signals and drawing on paper for a while - though he is a little in my comfort zone.  He's very touchy feely, and has absolutely no problem sitting on my bunk and touching my stuff.

That's probably his foot sticking out of my blanket right there.

Eventually we get underway, the cabin door is shut, and the lights are turned off.  I'm impressed by the little footholds that fold down so that you can climb up onto the upper bunks - you can see one in the picture above next to my sexily socked foot.  The train altogether has a really cool 60s eastern bloc vibe going on.

It's cool because it doesn't have a k on the end.

The man on the bunk above lets out an amazing sneeze which I'm sure showered the cabin.  The woman on the bunk opposite me has a great sleep - I have never experienced so much loud snoring in my life.  All that aside - I had a rather good nap, albeit with some pretty strange dreams.

That's not raindrops on the window.  That's sneeze.

Morning comes, and it's a beautiful day so I go back to sleep.  An hour or two later, I'm woken by a hustle and bustle and my roommates are rushing to get off the train at Vinh.  You have to be quick because they only seem to stop at the train station for about 2-3 minutes before it leaves again.  No new customers come in to the cabin so we are left to enjoy the rest of the trip and a trolley cart breakfast in peace.

Get yo hands offa my chicken!

It's roughly 9:30am and I'm due to be in Hue at 10:50 so not long to go!  Naturally, four hours later I arrive at Hue.

German efficiency this most certainly is not.

Vietnam: Sapa (Part 4) - A Little Bit of Everything

This morning we visited the village which is located pretty much right in Sapa (just down the hill on a dirt track).  This one is somehow less spectacular than everything I saw on the previous day though - it's a shame as this is all that the majority of people who visit this area will get to see.

Not Impressed.

By this.

Actually, it's still pretty damn cool (in a hot and sweaty kinda way) to wander around the area taking in the landscape and surrounding mountains.  We're also right next to the highest peak in Indochina called Fansipan and it's 3,142m high (10,308ft).  I think Fansipan means "Guess is tall because cannot see top through cloud".

Rambo Woz Here

Early in the afternoon we head back down the winding mountain road to Lau Cai to return our bikes.  Halfway down the mountain we turn a corner and almost run into the back of a small traffic jam.  A motorbike lies half crushed in the middle of the road, and a policeman is taking photos.  We weave through the wreckage but I don't see any bodies - the victim has already been taken away.  It's hard to tell how serious the damage was - but I don't think they would have taken them away so soon if they had died.  It looked like the bike had collied with a car going round a blind corner - it's not unusual for vehicles to overtake other cars and trucks while going round blind bends here.  That's where generous use of the horn comes in handy.  It's how you shout out "EVERYBODY - I EXIST SO WATCH OUT!!".

Schrödinger's cat disagrees.

Back in Lau Cai and it's time to return the bikes but I'll be having none of it.  I want another drive so I spend the next 20 minutes roaming around Lau Cai.  It's interesting how when on foot the motorbike traffic looks quite insane and chaotic, but when you're in amongst it all makes sense.  Just go with the flow of the river of bikes.

Humongous's ProTip: If you encounter any road warriors, kill them and steal their gasoline.

We stop in at a guest house to freshen up and have a bit of a rest, then head out for dinner and some nasty looking apple rice wine.

Looks Legit.

One bottle of rice wine later and it's time to catch the train back to Hanoi.  This time the air-con is working, and it gets freakin' cold during the night.  I must say though - this time I managed to get some sleep - I think I prefer being a bit cold to being extremely hot.  The wine probably helped a bit too.
Halfway through the journey the heavy rain starts pouring on the roof of the carriage, and is peppered with bright lighting flashes and rumbling thunder.  I feel very satisfied and cozy couped up in my rattly train, winding through the hills in the heavy storm.



More Vietnam pics here and here.

Vietnam: Perfume Pagoda (Part 2) and an Accident

Although I am a Manly Man, I had already been convinced by the tour guide to purchase a one-way ticket on the cable-car so I caught it back down the mountain instead of walking.

It's quite possibly the most exciting cable-car I have ever been in.  To picture what it was like, combine the following ingredients:

1.  Vietnam safety standards
2.  Cable-car speed set to Turbo
3.  4 large wasps buzzing around in the cab
4.  Tiny openable windows that aren't big enough for the wasps to find and escape

Ha ha the joke is on you!  There are no safety standards.

Needless to say - I didn't have too much time to relax and enjoy the view but it was actually better than walking as you can see quite far across the mountain range on the way down,  and you get to see the pagoda trail from above snaking it's way upward.

The view only makes them angrier -
wasps are afraid of heights because they have small wings.  

Once back at the bottom, we take a quick peek at the nifty old temple there complete with badass warrior statues before hopping back on the boat for a leisurely ride back to the minivan.

They burn one incense stick for every wasp victim of the month.

Partway along the trip back to Hanoi, we come to a sudden halt.  One car ahead of us there is a crowd of motorcyclists blocking the road in the middle of the village we are passing through.  It seems like we won't be moving for a while so we get out to investigate.

In the middle of the road lie two motorbikes, and two bodies.  A middle aged and an elderly woman have had a collision.  One of them seems to be alive but bloody and somebody is watching over them intently - the other one is motionless and drenched in blood, and nobody seems to be giving them any attention.  After a couple of minutes an arm moves so they're both still alive for now.

Nobody is allowed to move the accident victims until the police arrive to see what happened.  Eventually some policemen arrive, and the women are hastily lifted onto the back of motorbikes, perched between two people and whisked off to what I hope will be a hospital.  Hopefully they didn't have any spinal or neck injuries or it could be permanent the way they were handled like that.

Kind of like Tom Green - Not funny.

ProTip:  Don't get involved in an accident in Vietnam - it could take a quite while to get medical attention, and they won't touch you until the police arrive.





More photos can be viewed here on Flickr

Vietnam: Crisis

After cocktails at the lake, I'm back at the backpackers and browsing the net in bed (not what you're thinking).  I notice an extra large tub of protein powder lying at the foot of one of the beds.  It seems to me to be an unusual thing to take on holiday with you backpacking.  Sure, a small keg of the stuff could be reasonable, but do you really want to lug around a novelty oversized one?

Weirdo.

At around 11pm my first roommate comes in half naked and lays down in the bed next to me.  Not in the same bed as me you filthy minded creature - I mean the bed that was next to my bed.

He's obviously completely drunk, and strikes up a conversation.  He's a proud Canadian eh, boasts about how much rum he has drunk tonight, and how he punched some holes in a wall at a bar.

What a guy!


He then proceeds to vomit in the bed and then go to sleep which makes me rather uncomfortable and more than slightly pissed off as the pool of spew is down the end of the bed closest to my head and the room fan is blowing in my general direction.

Around 30 minutes later and Protein Powder Man comes home, finds it amusing that his friend has vomited in the bed, and then decides that I would be interested in how he has been "banging chicks at the gym".  Needless to say I'm not interested, but he doesn't seem to mind and keeps on talking before finally going to sleep.

Some time later and I'm woken again by another roommate coming home.  This guy is also drunk, and also rather pissed off that the Canadian chap has vomited and fallen asleep in his bed, and so attempts to have an argument with him which is futile as Vomit Boy is comatose.

I'm ashamed to say it but I had a crisis and just had to leave the next morning and check into a nice hotel.

It was the right choice.  I had a wonderful time with a nice room, privacy, nice staff, and an excellent breakfast.

And the doorman was most handsome.

Pro Tip:  Avoid hostels with excellent rating by 18-25 year old Australians, English and American males.  Go for hostels where the young uns complain about not meeting chicks or having parties.

Vietnam: I, N00B

I survive the flight from Shanghai - (I can only assume because every passenger was armed with a metal knife instead of the crappy plastic ones so no terrorists dared to try anything) - and arrive at Hanoi International Airport.

After getting some cash out and feeling like a billionaire with my wad of 100,000VD notes I head to the official airport transport counter to find out what my options are for getting in to town.  The friendly lady at the counter says that I need to take a shuttle bus into town, that you pay at the information counter, and that it will cost 650,000VD.

What the hell lady?  Can airports please fix this shit?

Luckily I learned my lesson in Shanghai and just headed out the door to the shuttle bus queue where I am quoted 100,000VD to take me to my hostel.  As I'm not used to haggling yet and feel rather happy that it's not 650,000VD I agree and jump in.  The guy sitting next to me got the ride for about 65,000VD but hey - it's better than paying 650,000VD right?

ProTip 1: Never use an Airport Transport Counter to arrange transportation.  Go out to the taxi / shuttle stand.

Forty five minutes later I am dumped somewhere in the middle of town and am forced to take a taxi the rest of the way.  Prick.  After a confusing winding drive and 120,000VD later I am dropped at my hostel.  Later on I would find out that it was actually pretty close and should have only been around 40,000VD for the taxi ride if he hadn't taken the scenic route.

I showed him.

After checking in and dropping of my bags it's time for some cocktails next to the lovely Hoan Kiem lake.  The cocktails here are very reasonably priced which is nice.

And almost resemble the drink that you ordered.

ProTip 2:  It should cost about 30-5000VD to take you to one of the Hoan Kiem accomodations from where the taxi drops you off.


ProTip 3: Try and take a Mai Linh taxi.  They cost slightly more per km, but the will take you straight to your destination and not rip you off.

Wuyuan (China) Road Trip - Part 3 - Jianglin Hills

Early in the morning we set off for another historic village - again it's closed for business and the local police turn us away.

The Sexy Police.

We head off to see Jianglin hills - a famous picture perfect postcard spot in China.  The area has lots of terraced farming here - and is famous in spring for what Wikipedia tells me is officially called Brassica Napus, but which normally goes by the far sexier name of rape.

NSFW

  The problem is the farmers don't want to grow the flowers because they're pretty much useless to them, but the local government want them planted because they bring in the tourists.

Sadly it's the wrong season for rape, so there was only a token field for the tourists, but after a short walk up the hill, the Jianglin hills still put on a spectacular show.

Be honest - what Google search term brought you here?

More pics can be found here here and over here

Wuyuan (China) Road Trip - Part 2

The next stop on the road-trip itinerary is Dazhang Shan Mountain.  An up-and-coming Chinese tourist spot you can see that they are expecting throngs of tourists to come through here at some point with a half finished cable-car that will soon be ready to take all those weary tourists badly in need of a rest from sitting down up the hill.  It's becoming apparent to me that in Asia a tourist spot is not really a tourist spot unless there is a cable-car involved.  They're bloody everywhere.

Walking is tiring

After parking the car, we're told in that friendly I'm-being-shouted-at chinese way by a woman selling food that tickets up up the road that way.  So we head up the road that way and reach the turnstile area with the security guard who tells us that the tickets are down the other way.  Damn you.  So we go back down the other way, purchase some tickets, and proceed that way to the turnstile.  Now to check that people don't use tickets twice (and possibly for other purposes) they have a fingerprint scanner at the entrance gate where you have to get scanned before you enter.  I couldn't get the damn thing to work with my huge caucasian fingerprints (and general caucasian thick-headedness) and eventually frustrated the security guard so much that he just let me through anyway.  
James 1 - China 0.

Dealing with James is tiring.

Walking up the hiking trail is actually rather nice.  It's rather similar to going on a bush walk in New Zealand, only twice as hot, and with lots of paving stones and stone bridges everywhere.

It looks a lot like New Zealand,

but is far more educational.

At this time of year we only see about 20 other people making the journey to the top.  I imagine the mountain will receive a lot more once the dormant cable-car overhead springs into action.


After a grueling slog up the hill in the heat we're nearly at the top and are greeting by a crappy looking 50s era power generator that's still in use, and a swing bridge.  Wen finally succumbs to the heat and I'm forced to trek on by myself while I leave her to die alone.  Further up the hill and I cross a rickety wooden bridge - the first time I've felt unsafe on this hike.  Many of the boards are rotten or missing, and the wood flexes in a disconcerting way as I walk across.


Finally I reach the first of the two great waterfalls at the top that the mountain is famous for - White Dragon Waterfall.

Not bad

Damn it's hot up here and I'm sweating like [removed for reference to your mum].  I have to backtrack down the trail to the fork in the road and go to see the Great Dragon Waterfall which I'm not going to bother uploading a photo for because it was dry and just looked like a large, slightly wet rock-face.


I head back down the hill, pause for a moment of remembrance for Wen, and arrive back near the old power generator.  We find that there's a free bus service going back down the hill which we gladly take as we're still leaking sweat like [removed again].  We have a twenty minute wait for the bus driver to wake up from his nap, and sit on the sweltering bus where the bus driver's daughter and her baby brother are hanging out.


She asked Wen [Yes, I see the plot hole - it's gaping like [removed]] a question in Chinese.  "Is that a westerner?".  
I was her first.  
"He has blue eyes" she says.  
This fascinates me as it indicates that they don't get many westerners round these parts!  I tried to talk in some simple English to her, but she says that she learned some English in school but has forgotten it.


Meanwhile, the thermometer on the bus is oscillating between 39 and 40 degrees Celsius.  That can't be right!  Well maybe it can - that would explain why I'm hotter than I've ever felt in my life, and have sweated more than I've ever sweated in my life.     


Finally the bus driver woke from his slumber, hopped in the bus and proceeded to attempt to win the World Rally Championship for Bus Drivers that was going on in imaginationland in his head.  He careened down the mountain road which is barely wide enough to squeeze two cars past, without slowing down for blind corners.  I felt safe though because he parped his horn when he went round the sharpest of corners.

A gentle portion of the ride

We make it back to the rental car alive, find a large fresh scratch down the side of the car, and drive to Woolong Valley / Hanxu Caves to find accommodation for the night.   It's not quite sundown yet but we are both exhausted and I succumb to the heat myself with a headache after carrying my heavy bags up 3 floors of stairs. Some chinese TV, a nap, and a meal are in order.

And we couldn't have picked a better spot.