China: Shanghai Proposition

After successfully buying some tickets for 4 other friends and myself on the fast train to Nanjing, we arrive at Shanghai Train Station and head through the boarding gate.  The big red beeping X on the ticket gate signals that I successfully managed to buy tickets for the wrong day.  


Somewhere along the line my request for tickets written down in Chinese by my hostel staff ended up with tickets for Saturday instead of Friday - I'm not sure if it was the hostel staff or the ticket booth lady that made the mistake - but shit happens - you try and adapt and not get too much of it on your chinos.

We go to the ticket counter to exchange our tickets for another train and find that all the fast trains that night are sold out, and the only train left is the 11pm 'normal' train which turns a 1.5 hour trip into 4 hours.

Two chinese men approach one of our own chinese and say: "If you come quick, we have tickets for the next fast train - it takes only 1.5 hours and it will only cost you an extra 50 Yuan!".

I should interject at this point to let you know that no - you haven't all of a sudden learned how to speak Chinese.  In case you were wondering (and possibly terrified) as to how you could understand these Chinese gentlemen, I have taken the liberty of translating this story into English for you.  For the Chinese readers of this story - I apologize for the fact that I will continue using English for the next 4 years while it is still the international language.

In the rush and confusion she wants to go along with them, but I say "Hold on [bitches]!"

I checked the timetable and the train that they are talking about takes over 2.5 hours, so they are clearly bullshitting and I'm not in the mood to be on the receiving end of a scam tonight.  So we buy the tickets for 11pm and go sit in the square with some beers.

Which is where things start to get interesting.

A Kiwi, a British Indian, a Dutch, and two Chinese walk into a square...

After 30 minutes of chilling we are approached my a dapper gentleman who speaks through one of our chinese [friends] to Dutch and myself.  He wants to know if we are interested in working for him.

OK.

Apparently we look swedish and can make a lot of money working in "bars".  He already has two swedish guys working for him and he says they make a lot of money.

"You can also work at Bar Rouge" - which is one of the high profile clubs in Shanghai.

Go on.

"Do we have to work for boys or girls?" we ask through the translator.

"Both".

"Even though we are suavely dressed, we're not really into men."

"Drink lots of Baijiu - it makes it easier."


Well I'm totally flattered - but I can't quite figure out how there came to be two swedish chaps that made it all the way to Shanghai, only to need money so badly that they have to pimp themselves out to men and women while drinking hard liquor to take away the pain.  Oh you crazy swedes and your shenanigans!



11pm comes around and we take the slow train to Nanjing.  We don't arrive till 3am, and further get to bed until 4am, but I sure had fun seeing how many things I could stack on British Indian while she was sleeping.

China: Coffee and Crashes

On the long drive back to Shanghai from Wuyuan, I am determined to find a Starbucks to get a shot of my own personal crack.

A man has needs

Sure, Starbucks is shit, but in Asia that's quite often the best you're gonna get for a Flat White.

Not only did my rental car come with my own personal driver [I can hear the sound of Facebook unfriending as I write this], but we also paid the small fee for one of these new fangled GPS systems that all the hip kids are raving on about these days.  The GPS has a fancy function in it where it can help you find the nearest Starbucks or KFC, so we head off to find some coffee.  Long story short, we took a three hour detour only to find nothing.

I could swear it's round here somewhere....

James needs crack.

Never one to give up, we set of for the city of Hangzhou to find the next Starbucks in the GPS system. When we get there, we're greeted by an empty river, and even less sign of a Starbucks.

Crack crack crack.

We give up on the GPS (Goddamn Piece of Sh*t) and after hunting through a wealthy looking suburb we eventually find one and I have that caffeine injection I've been yearning for.

From Hangzhou to Shanghai is not too long a drive, but as we get onto the final highway into town we run into a police roadblock which forces us off at the next exit.  Over the loudspeaker they are saying that they've closed the highway due to a traffic jam and so we have to take the long way back into Shanghai.

The next day we hear on the news that the highway was closed down because a tour bus overturned.

Stink.

Flickr police

In my ignorance I titled a rather nice looking statue in The Bund, Shanghai and titled it: "Proud Mao".  It didn't take long for a helpful flickr user to post "He is Chen Yi, The first [Mayor] of the city".  Helpful chap - out of curiosity I check out his photos and it's all close up pics of military fighter jets and soldiers.  Hmmm…..

Not Mao

ProTip:  Mao has a mole on his chin

1933 Old Milfun

Get in quick before the retail and office spaces move in.  An old abattoir built in the 1930s - it's an architectural masterpiece.  A labyrinthine concrete complex - complete with gangways, tight stairways and dark gloomy back alleys.

How something so beautiful was made for slaughtering animals I will never know.  I hope the pigs got to appreciate it on the way out…

I have a bad feeling it won't be empty for long though - businesses are already moving in.  So if you're in Shanghai over the next couple of months definitely put this one on your to do list.

Bikes, Cats and Scams

It's the first morning in Shanghai, I walk out the front door of my accommodation, and almost get run over by a scooter going the wrong way down the road.  Wait, that's not a road - that's the footpath.  I guess there is no wrong way down a footpath.
It's surprising, but it seems that almost all of the scooters and motorbikes in Shanghai are electric!  I applaud the noble attempt to reduce smog and pollution - but it sure makes you need to have your wits about you as you cross the road!

My personal photographer's last photo. RIP...

Exploring the city some more, I wander through the old French District, lined with beautiful trees, old colonial style buildings and bicycles.  It's a hot day and not too many people seem to be wandering around so I duck into a shopping mall to cool down.

Sorry about the boring photo

To my surprise I find that strangely the mall is devoid of customers!  No-one is in there shopping.  Does everybody have a job or something?  Where are the tourists?

I don't have a picture of an empty shopping mall.

Wandering further across the city, my GPS system built into my brain brings be to The Bund.

I should be a taxi driver

Now the Bund is a spectacular area - I just hate it that's all.  Jam packed with tourists of every flavor, including approximately 1.2 million Chinese tourists from out of town.  That on it's own is OK - on average Chinese people are pretty small and so don't take up much space - but what pissed me off was that I was approached ten times within one hour to go and have Chinese tea or coffee with a young female Chinese tourist.

Ten Times.

ProTip:  Don't do it.

Luckily I'd done my research before-hand and learned online that it's a common scam in the area - you get approached by a young "tourist" who wants you help them take a picture in front of something interesting - they continue to converse with you, and eventually pop the question to go and sample some Chinese tea.  You go and sample the average-at-best Chinese tea with them, only to find a bill for about $3000 at the end.  Say no, and they invite their gangster friends into the room with you until you pay.  It's sad but I actually met a German tourist later who had it happen to him.  When he didn't have much cash they made him use his credit card.

It's a shame really - because that behavior could easily give Shanghai a bad name.  The rest of Shanghai is not like that at all...
The fact that there seem to be so many of these people approaching me for it in the area - along with "Wanna buy a watch?", and "Want sexy massage?"  must mean somebody is turning a blind eye to it.  At the very least - it's made sure that I stay the hell away from The Bund.

More info can be found on the scam here: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/thorntree/thread.jspa?threadID=1792617

Welcome to Shanghai

Welcome to Shanghai.

Heading out of immigration after picking up my bags, I'm approached by a young woman in an airport uniform asking where I was headed to.  She brings me over to the airport transport desk and arranges for a taxi ride into town.  The taxi seemed expensive - but I was in a new place, and just wanted to get to my hostel and get settled.

Now the thing about Shanghai taxis is the drivers don't use GPS - they rely on having years of knowledge to get you to where you want to go.  Which works reasonably well if you have a knowledgable taxi driver!  My taxi driver took two hours to find my hostel - which is right next to a metro station.  Turns out he wasn't very knowledgable.

Luckily it was a scenic ride.

ProTip:  Don't use the transport counter at the airport - just head out front to the taxi stand - or even better find the Metro system and catch the train or the Maglev into town.  If you must use the transport counter, make sure you negotiate a fixed price first.  My ride would have been ridiculously expensive if I was riding on the meter.