So I find myself in Beijing after an exciting bullet train ride (it's exciting because it might crash at any minute) and I'm settled into my hostel for the week.
I'm too terrified to scream
Now I'd like to interject myself here and go on record by saying that China is one of those places where you probably don't want a hostel room with an ensuite. It's one of a list of many countries where the plumbing can't handle toilet paper and so things can get rather smelly as you have to put your toilet paper in the bin. Occasionally (especially in some bars) you come across a toilet where somebody has insisted on flushing the paper and lets just say that things get a little... messy. I'm writing this at a cafe right now. Just had some chocolate cake and it's sort of smeared a bit on the plate. MMmmm.
Anyway, my new friend from the hostel (ha! - a bloody Australian) had just arrived in Beijing from an overland rail trip from Moscow and had already fallen for one of those typical China tourist scams. He was out for a stroll on the street when he was approached by two girls.
We should probably assume that he was targeted because he was wearing one of those hats with corks dangling off of them to keep the flies off (I don't know why but flies love Australians).
After chatting for a bit they invite him to go sing karaoke at a karaoke club. Off they go, and a few beers and songs later (no doubt singing the Australian national anthem: Tie Me Kangaroo Down several times) and he's downstairs in the lobby and asked to pay the bill.
And this is the point where he notices that the front door has been locked with a bicycle chain.
The bill comes to about AUS$350 which at the current exchange rate is probably enough to by a Porche with enough change left over to buy the requisite toupée (Australia's crap beer export market is booming - anyone fancy a Fosters?). He got off lucky compared to some people who fall for the tea scam in Shanghai but still...
ProTip: When travelling, try to avoid being Australian at all costs - it will only end badly.
