China: Coffee and Crashes

On the long drive back to Shanghai from Wuyuan, I am determined to find a Starbucks to get a shot of my own personal crack.

A man has needs

Sure, Starbucks is shit, but in Asia that's quite often the best you're gonna get for a Flat White.

Not only did my rental car come with my own personal driver [I can hear the sound of Facebook unfriending as I write this], but we also paid the small fee for one of these new fangled GPS systems that all the hip kids are raving on about these days.  The GPS has a fancy function in it where it can help you find the nearest Starbucks or KFC, so we head off to find some coffee.  Long story short, we took a three hour detour only to find nothing.

I could swear it's round here somewhere....

James needs crack.

Never one to give up, we set of for the city of Hangzhou to find the next Starbucks in the GPS system. When we get there, we're greeted by an empty river, and even less sign of a Starbucks.

Crack crack crack.

We give up on the GPS (Goddamn Piece of Sh*t) and after hunting through a wealthy looking suburb we eventually find one and I have that caffeine injection I've been yearning for.

From Hangzhou to Shanghai is not too long a drive, but as we get onto the final highway into town we run into a police roadblock which forces us off at the next exit.  Over the loudspeaker they are saying that they've closed the highway due to a traffic jam and so we have to take the long way back into Shanghai.

The next day we hear on the news that the highway was closed down because a tour bus overturned.

Stink.

Wuyuan (China) Road Trip - Part 3 - Jianglin Hills

Early in the morning we set off for another historic village - again it's closed for business and the local police turn us away.

The Sexy Police.

We head off to see Jianglin hills - a famous picture perfect postcard spot in China.  The area has lots of terraced farming here - and is famous in spring for what Wikipedia tells me is officially called Brassica Napus, but which normally goes by the far sexier name of rape.

NSFW

  The problem is the farmers don't want to grow the flowers because they're pretty much useless to them, but the local government want them planted because they bring in the tourists.

Sadly it's the wrong season for rape, so there was only a token field for the tourists, but after a short walk up the hill, the Jianglin hills still put on a spectacular show.

Be honest - what Google search term brought you here?

More pics can be found here here and over here

Wuyuan (China) Road Trip - Part 2.5

I forgot to mention that at the bottom of Dazhang Shan Mountain there was a van parked in the carpark which had what is either a personalized plate or a very very lucky standard issue one.  I had a chuckle.

Wuyuan (China) Road Trip - Part 2

The next stop on the road-trip itinerary is Dazhang Shan Mountain.  An up-and-coming Chinese tourist spot you can see that they are expecting throngs of tourists to come through here at some point with a half finished cable-car that will soon be ready to take all those weary tourists badly in need of a rest from sitting down up the hill.  It's becoming apparent to me that in Asia a tourist spot is not really a tourist spot unless there is a cable-car involved.  They're bloody everywhere.

Walking is tiring

After parking the car, we're told in that friendly I'm-being-shouted-at chinese way by a woman selling food that tickets up up the road that way.  So we head up the road that way and reach the turnstile area with the security guard who tells us that the tickets are down the other way.  Damn you.  So we go back down the other way, purchase some tickets, and proceed that way to the turnstile.  Now to check that people don't use tickets twice (and possibly for other purposes) they have a fingerprint scanner at the entrance gate where you have to get scanned before you enter.  I couldn't get the damn thing to work with my huge caucasian fingerprints (and general caucasian thick-headedness) and eventually frustrated the security guard so much that he just let me through anyway.  
James 1 - China 0.

Dealing with James is tiring.

Walking up the hiking trail is actually rather nice.  It's rather similar to going on a bush walk in New Zealand, only twice as hot, and with lots of paving stones and stone bridges everywhere.

It looks a lot like New Zealand,

but is far more educational.

At this time of year we only see about 20 other people making the journey to the top.  I imagine the mountain will receive a lot more once the dormant cable-car overhead springs into action.


After a grueling slog up the hill in the heat we're nearly at the top and are greeting by a crappy looking 50s era power generator that's still in use, and a swing bridge.  Wen finally succumbs to the heat and I'm forced to trek on by myself while I leave her to die alone.  Further up the hill and I cross a rickety wooden bridge - the first time I've felt unsafe on this hike.  Many of the boards are rotten or missing, and the wood flexes in a disconcerting way as I walk across.


Finally I reach the first of the two great waterfalls at the top that the mountain is famous for - White Dragon Waterfall.

Not bad

Damn it's hot up here and I'm sweating like [removed for reference to your mum].  I have to backtrack down the trail to the fork in the road and go to see the Great Dragon Waterfall which I'm not going to bother uploading a photo for because it was dry and just looked like a large, slightly wet rock-face.


I head back down the hill, pause for a moment of remembrance for Wen, and arrive back near the old power generator.  We find that there's a free bus service going back down the hill which we gladly take as we're still leaking sweat like [removed again].  We have a twenty minute wait for the bus driver to wake up from his nap, and sit on the sweltering bus where the bus driver's daughter and her baby brother are hanging out.


She asked Wen [Yes, I see the plot hole - it's gaping like [removed]] a question in Chinese.  "Is that a westerner?".  
I was her first.  
"He has blue eyes" she says.  
This fascinates me as it indicates that they don't get many westerners round these parts!  I tried to talk in some simple English to her, but she says that she learned some English in school but has forgotten it.


Meanwhile, the thermometer on the bus is oscillating between 39 and 40 degrees Celsius.  That can't be right!  Well maybe it can - that would explain why I'm hotter than I've ever felt in my life, and have sweated more than I've ever sweated in my life.     


Finally the bus driver woke from his slumber, hopped in the bus and proceeded to attempt to win the World Rally Championship for Bus Drivers that was going on in imaginationland in his head.  He careened down the mountain road which is barely wide enough to squeeze two cars past, without slowing down for blind corners.  I felt safe though because he parped his horn when he went round the sharpest of corners.

A gentle portion of the ride

We make it back to the rental car alive, find a large fresh scratch down the side of the car, and drive to Woolong Valley / Hanxu Caves to find accommodation for the night.   It's not quite sundown yet but we are both exhausted and I succumb to the heat myself with a headache after carrying my heavy bags up 3 floors of stairs. Some chinese TV, a nap, and a meal are in order.

And we couldn't have picked a better spot.

Wuyuan (China) Road Trip - Part 1

Sadly, it's difficult for an "out-of-towner" to drive a car in China - you need to obtain a local driver's license which I don't really have the inclination to try and obtain - so I meet up with my buddy Wen who will be my personal chauffeur [aah those were the days] on this tour.  I don't really have much to offer on this trip other than being wonderful company and absolutely hilarious and humble.

What a cock.

A couple of hours out of Shanghai and we see a tourist sign pointing off the highway to a place called "Grand Gorge".  That sounds quite impressive - and knowing the way Chinese like to do mountains and rivers I suspect it should be quite a treat.  Turning off of the main highway and handing over some kuai at the obligatory toll-booth we cruise through a small town that is spectacularly one giant roadwork.

Quite possibly the main street of Auckland, NZ.
I think you can see John the blacksmith on the left.

After driving down a bumpy under-construction dirt road for thirty minutes along a river in a ravine, it becomes apparent that this was it, so we make a u-turn, avoiding the gravel trucks and road-workers and head back for the highway.  Perhaps they need to give the Grand Gorge a new name?

Average Gorge, China.

Heading further inland into Jianxi Province (about 6-7 hours from Shanghai) and it becomes apparent that construction is happening everywhere in this part of China. Apartment blocks, factories, shops, bridges, roads - the roadside is peppered with them for the entire journey.  Construction is especially dense anywhere near a major town or city - the local governments are obviously expecting large populations of people to move in soon.

One of the things I find fascinating about rural China is the insistance (perhaps out of necessity) that everything be done via manual labour.  If something needs moving, it's moved by hand.  If a seed needs sowing, it's done by hand.  If a crop needs reaping, it's done by hand.  It's a very common sight to see an old man or woman in their 70s walking down the road with an antique looking hoe slung over their shoulder.  Seemingly the only modern technology around here are the throngs of motorbikes and scooters - driven by old and young alike.  Some of the more pimpin' chaps zip around on their scooters with their ladies perched on the back.

Always remember to bring an umbrella

Arriving at Li Kang late in the afternoon, we find that the village is closed for -- reasons I probably shouldn't say on here - and so we set off to find the next point of interest - Sixi village.  It's getting late and we don't find it until after dark.  And boy is it dark out here in the countryside - the murky black sporadically pierced in the distance by sheet lighting off on the horizon.  Asking a man walking along the side of the road for directions he assures us that we've found it, and insists that we should come stay in his guest house.  We're the only tourists in town tonight so we have a choice of one of two rooms - one with three large black spiders on the wall, and one without.

We'll take the one without thank you.

After a delicious dinner consisting of an egg and tomato dish and beans with miscellaneous, lights go out early so we can get up at sunrise and wander the village.

Good morning Village!

So much for getting up at sunrise - it's 8am by the time we rise from our slumber after a hard day's drive. Breakfast is ready.  Delicious egg and noodles for breakfast.  It's worth noting at this point that all of the food here is "farm food" - fresh off the farm - healthy and delicious!

The head chef/husband/owner of the guest house - hard at work.

Beautiful green fields lie directly out the back door of the guest house.  We wander around the village before the tourists arrive.  It's very hot.  Trays of vegetables and spices are left out in the sun to dry.  The village is quite picturesque - flanked by green fields on either side, old houses squatted next to one another.  Running down one side is a small river - at one end powering a water-wheel - the means to washing clothes at the other, and with a lovely wooden bridge in the middle crossing to a plantation on the other side.  Luckily the only other tourists we run into are a small group of young Chinese.

Flanking Crops

Drying veges and spices

This group of Chinese is so small you can't even see them.

Down at one end of the village, we come across a very old man coming the other way.  He looks about 120 years old - but he's still going - slowly.   Overtaking on the inside, and venturing into an old derelict house, there are random pieces of broken furniture and equipment strewn about as the grass creeps in through a broken door.

Don't look behind you.

I said don't

In the corner of the derelict house is a coffin - under construction.  I can't help but think it's for the old man.


After exploring the first village we head off down the road for ten minutes and arrive at another historic village - Yancun.  This one is just like the first one but different.

As we arrive, a throng of children show up banging on the window shouting.  They want to be our tour guides for the village.  No thank you we keep insisting.  But you will miss out on learning about the 99 different types of door!  No thank you.

Look!  No doors!  I should have payed for the doors.

The village is similar to the last one, but this one has a big old bridge on it.  The locals are sitting on the bridge in the shade away from the heat - chatting loudly.

That's one of the great things about these villages - not only are they a historical tourist attraction - the locals still live, cook, eat, and sleep and whatever country folk do when they get bored after dark in these ancient houses.

More pics of the villages can be found here

Flickr police

In my ignorance I titled a rather nice looking statue in The Bund, Shanghai and titled it: "Proud Mao".  It didn't take long for a helpful flickr user to post "He is Chen Yi, The first [Mayor] of the city".  Helpful chap - out of curiosity I check out his photos and it's all close up pics of military fighter jets and soldiers.  Hmmm…..

Not Mao

ProTip:  Mao has a mole on his chin

1933 Old Milfun

Get in quick before the retail and office spaces move in.  An old abattoir built in the 1930s - it's an architectural masterpiece.  A labyrinthine concrete complex - complete with gangways, tight stairways and dark gloomy back alleys.

How something so beautiful was made for slaughtering animals I will never know.  I hope the pigs got to appreciate it on the way out…

I have a bad feeling it won't be empty for long though - businesses are already moving in.  So if you're in Shanghai over the next couple of months definitely put this one on your to do list.

Bikes, Cats and Scams

It's the first morning in Shanghai, I walk out the front door of my accommodation, and almost get run over by a scooter going the wrong way down the road.  Wait, that's not a road - that's the footpath.  I guess there is no wrong way down a footpath.
It's surprising, but it seems that almost all of the scooters and motorbikes in Shanghai are electric!  I applaud the noble attempt to reduce smog and pollution - but it sure makes you need to have your wits about you as you cross the road!

My personal photographer's last photo. RIP...

Exploring the city some more, I wander through the old French District, lined with beautiful trees, old colonial style buildings and bicycles.  It's a hot day and not too many people seem to be wandering around so I duck into a shopping mall to cool down.

Sorry about the boring photo

To my surprise I find that strangely the mall is devoid of customers!  No-one is in there shopping.  Does everybody have a job or something?  Where are the tourists?

I don't have a picture of an empty shopping mall.

Wandering further across the city, my GPS system built into my brain brings be to The Bund.

I should be a taxi driver

Now the Bund is a spectacular area - I just hate it that's all.  Jam packed with tourists of every flavor, including approximately 1.2 million Chinese tourists from out of town.  That on it's own is OK - on average Chinese people are pretty small and so don't take up much space - but what pissed me off was that I was approached ten times within one hour to go and have Chinese tea or coffee with a young female Chinese tourist.

Ten Times.

ProTip:  Don't do it.

Luckily I'd done my research before-hand and learned online that it's a common scam in the area - you get approached by a young "tourist" who wants you help them take a picture in front of something interesting - they continue to converse with you, and eventually pop the question to go and sample some Chinese tea.  You go and sample the average-at-best Chinese tea with them, only to find a bill for about $3000 at the end.  Say no, and they invite their gangster friends into the room with you until you pay.  It's sad but I actually met a German tourist later who had it happen to him.  When he didn't have much cash they made him use his credit card.

It's a shame really - because that behavior could easily give Shanghai a bad name.  The rest of Shanghai is not like that at all...
The fact that there seem to be so many of these people approaching me for it in the area - along with "Wanna buy a watch?", and "Want sexy massage?"  must mean somebody is turning a blind eye to it.  At the very least - it's made sure that I stay the hell away from The Bund.

More info can be found on the scam here: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/thorntree/thread.jspa?threadID=1792617

Welcome to Shanghai

Welcome to Shanghai.

Heading out of immigration after picking up my bags, I'm approached by a young woman in an airport uniform asking where I was headed to.  She brings me over to the airport transport desk and arranges for a taxi ride into town.  The taxi seemed expensive - but I was in a new place, and just wanted to get to my hostel and get settled.

Now the thing about Shanghai taxis is the drivers don't use GPS - they rely on having years of knowledge to get you to where you want to go.  Which works reasonably well if you have a knowledgable taxi driver!  My taxi driver took two hours to find my hostel - which is right next to a metro station.  Turns out he wasn't very knowledgable.

Luckily it was a scenic ride.

ProTip:  Don't use the transport counter at the airport - just head out front to the taxi stand - or even better find the Metro system and catch the train or the Maglev into town.  If you must use the transport counter, make sure you negotiate a fixed price first.  My ride would have been ridiculously expensive if I was riding on the meter.