On a Whim - Part II

Superior Class.  Now doesn't that sound lovely!  I'm sharing a two man seat with a rather roundish Malay who's using pieces of newspaper as a blanket and sleeping mask.  Good idea!!  Two minutes later and I have a Serato tshirt over my face (where do they keep coming from?) and am using a long sleeved shirt as a blanket (I can't afford a newspaper).

The life of a high-roller

8 hours later after stopping. at. every. single. station. south. of. KL. and it's 7:30am at Sentral Station.  Cool!  I've never been to Malaysia before.  Catching the light rail to Chinatown you can see beautiful middle-eastern style architecture everywhere!  Burkas everywhere!  KFC everywhere!  Just like that, southeast asia just got a whole lot more muslim.  Fascinating!  The next 20 hours or so are spent wandering the city - Chinatown,  Little India, the touristy hawker food district, climbing the rather steep and large hill with KL tower on it (I'm a sucker for punishment).  It's a fascinating city - a real mishmash of cultures, peoples, and KFCs.

The result of masochism

Hot Kuala Lumpiur is Hot.  I'm not sure why I haven't turned into a prune yet -  I'm pretty sure I'm not drinking as much fluid as I'm sweating out.  Using deductive reasoning I have ascertained that the locals haven't all shrunk into teeny tiny balls of prune skin because - unlike us - they are not walking around in the daytime and climbing small mountains in the midday heat.

Not Prunes

The next day and I catch the train with an entourage of very lovely ladies* to one of the big tourist attractions in KL - the Batu Caves.  Press your destination on the ticket machine.  Only 1 ringgit!!  Sweet as!  I think I'm going to like this place.  One train ride later and we're at the Batu caves.

Actual pic of train ride

Free entry to the temple in the cave - I really do think I'm going to like this place.  We are greeted by a humungous statue in front of a large flight of steps leading into the cliff-face.  Damn it's big.

That's what she said.

Oh look at the cute monkeys!!  Monkeys are hanging out at the top of the steps posing for pictures.  I like monkeys!  So cute.  Apparently if you don't have food on you they tend to ignore you and do their own thing.  A short cavewalk later past some shrines and there is a central "room" with a pretty impressive hole looking upward.

A Hole

A tribe of 20 or so monkeys are hanging out on the cliff wall being cute. Look! A baby monkey eating some kind of nut!  Cute!!
Ooh look another baby sucking on an iceblock stick!  Super cute!  I like monkeys!!

An indian lady in a sari screams and runs past a monkey.  Ha ha.  Silly lady - scared of the cute monkeys.  I like monkeys.

Time to head back now.  Aargh something scratched my leg!!  You little shit!  Now it's climbed up and grabbed onto my wallet pocket!!  You little shit!  I let out a manly yelp and run forward as the monkey jumps onto a handrail and bares his teeth at me.  You little shit.  I hate monkeys.

Little Shit.

Now they're everywhere at the top of the stairs back down to the train station.  Evil little things - just waiting to claw you limb from limb, staring at you with their soulless eyes.

It probably wants to mug you

The terrifying descent begins - flanked by the tiny demons of the Batu Caves.  I can feel their gaze burning into the back of my head.

Just look straight ahead.

Climb.

Don't look back.

Most of us probably won't make it back alive.  I just hope one of us survives so we can warn the world of the terror of the Monkey Terror of the Batu caves.

Victims flee in desperation

Pictured: Absolute Terror

Now all we need to do is make it past the horrific "Man with the Two Large Snakes" and we are safe and sound back on the train.

Sorry Ladies

And hot-damn the food is cheap here!  Around NZ$2-3 for a decent meal.

I like this place.


*sorry Adam - you've been relegated to one of the babes to make me sound more pimpin'