Sex Flies and Videotape: India: Delhi to Agra - Taj Mahal and other mundanities

The first leg of my journey is by hired driver because I'm used to the finer things in life - I like to sip my glass of champagne and nibble on my caviar while watching the world go by. Split between two people it's actually a reasonably cost efficient way to move around if you want to get to some places farther away from the train station hubs.

Not to mention the trains were overflowing due to a public holiday...

We are picked up at 6am from the hostel next door and I'm surprised to find an Ambassador sitting outside.

I'd like to pretend that I'm so important that there was an ambassador waiting outside for me - but no, it's a car.

It's not every day that I get to ride in a car that's older than one of the ones that I've owned in the past - and even rarer when the car is 40 years old and based on an even older design. Say what you will about the car - it definitely has some class and character.

And an excellent engine cooling system.

Now I should say something about India's infamous highway traffic. While the roads aren't the busiest I've seen - they are definitely the most eclectic (and dangerous - but we'll come back to that in a later episode.) And it's a constant eclecticism too - it doesn't take long before you become jaded as you pass a rickshaw loaded with 10 people in the back and more hanging off the sides on the left, a camel and cart on the right, while a big rig truck (that looks home-made) comes at you head on down the wrong side of the highway. Oh and everybody apart from the camels (presumably) are tooting constantly.

I give good deal you my friend. Discount price and I throw in free AC just for you.

A few hours into the journey and we stop at Akbar's tomb.

How embarrassing. He's wearing a Star Trek uniform to a Star Wars convention.

It's nice and peaceful away from the traffic with the muslim tomb providing the centerpiece to four large green fields with grazing deer.

I know you came here for animal pics so I'll just show you this.

Inside the tomb itself it's a wonderful temperature and is a nice break from the heat outside. I value the time in the shade because I'm a dufus and don't have a hat.

I don't want to mess up my long flowing locks...

We press onwards to Agra, drop check into the guest house and then head to the one and only touristic force majeur - The Taj Mahal. The Taj Mahal is damned impressive and even better looking than I imagined in real life. It really is a huge beautiful pearly white monument made of marble.

"The Taj Mahal - a huge beautiful pearly white monument made of marble." I am such a lyrical wordsmith.

My travel buddy says she is jealous of the emperor's wife that she got remembered that way. She became less jealous when I informed her that she was the emperor's *favorite* wife. Maybe it's the lesbo inside of me but I wouldn't mind sharing myself with a bunch of other chicks. Not to mention the harem...
However I would feel bad that I would be indirectly responsible for a country-wide depression and famine as a result of all the money spent on the tomb.

What you see in your friends' travel pictures...

What you see in real life.

After sweltering for a while at the Taj, we pop over to the nearby Agra fort - which is pure Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Chilled monkey brains for dinner!

We wander around the fort for a while - it's an impressive complex and brings back memories of the Forbidden city in beijing - a grand epitome of the past. The fort also has fucking monkeys (I hate monkeys. Bastards.) and features an interesting view back towards the Taj.