Sex Flies and Videotape: India - New Delhi: One Sikh Temple and One Red Fort

In the morning I'm off for samosas and chai at my new "local" - bringing along my Singaporean friend (ok laaa) and I've also adopted a Japanese girl. A friendly familiar face turns up at the breakfast hole, so we invite him to sit at our table.

He asks how we found this place.

"You took us here!"

"No I didn't "

"Yes you did don't you remember?"

"No, I left you at the park as I had to go get my friend."

Fuck.

Wrong guy.

Aaawkwarrrd.*

*[Excerpt from my new book: "How to lose friends and not recognize people."]

This guy clearly bought my book...

We hire an Auto for 50 rupees each for an hour and go cruising to see India Gate and a bunch of spectacular government buildings.

FYI - This is neither the India Gate nor a Government building.

This driver also charges 50 rupees an hour for *ahem* other services.

In the afternoon we catch the delhi metro to Chandni Chowk. One of the few times in Northern India where it's good to be a woman as there is no queue to go through the female security checkpoint.

And so many single men to choose from... *swoon*

On this saturday the metro is jam packed, and reminds me of the Beijing subway - only slightly more polite. There is a bit of jostling to squeeze into the trains in time, but it's more of an apologetic jostling as opposed to the "get out of my fucking way" Beijing jostle.

Coming out of the metro in Chandni Chowk, this area seems to be in a perpetual traffic jam.

Caused by my standing in the middle of the road with a camera.

One of the first things we hit coming out of the metro is a Sikh temple, and we pop in to take a look. I quickly scan over one of the information plaques, which includes some interesting information about how various gurus and followers were beheaded, chopped in half or boiled alive by one of the emperors as punishment for complaining about the emperor's brutality.

The emperor was an Alanis Morissette fan...

After depositing our shoes in a cloak room, we wash our hands at a tap, rinse our feet at the bottom of the stairs heading up to the temple, and stroll on up. A man asks me to cover my head as I don't have a hat - he goes and fetches me a piece of cloth and ties it under my chin. A young woman volunteering at the temple then comes and offers to show us inside.

At the door stands a Sikh man with large turbin, beard and pointy weapony looking pole. He's not impressed by the way the other guy tied my hat and insists on redoing it. This time he ties it at the back. We are taken inside where we receive a small bowl of delicious sweet flour mix, which you then have to give back to the server who tips half of it out and then gives it back again. Half for you, half for god. I'm actually quite fond of the food, and when I let the girl know she offers to take us out the back to the kitchen.

Looks like shit, tastes great. Now enough about me....

In the first section of the kitchen we get to see a man with a giant wok who's cooking up this delicious gooey stuff. Further back into the complex, and we are shown a room where various curries are being made, and there are also women sitting on the floor making chapatis.

MMmmm Soylent Greeeeeen.

We are then offered free food, and so yes.

Yes. Yes Yes Yes.

We're led into a large area with mats lying in parallel lines on the floor. We sit cross-legged with a plate in front as some indian men walk past with a pot and ladle dishing out various curries. A woman also walks around with chapatis handing them out - which you receive with both hands.
The man next to me seems rather proud of his large pot. It's the biggest pot I've ever seen in my life. You know that feeling when it's so big you just can't stop staring at it? That feeling.

Notice the pot-to-man ratio...

Also, I don't know that feeling.

We head back out of the eating area, wash our hands, and see 30 people sitting down cleaning dishes. Our volunteer guide explains that these people (including her) work at the temple 24/7 as that is what drives them. Oh, and everything is free. The tour, food etc. She's doing it because she wants to.

More restaurants should adopt this business model and no, I didn't go to business school.

We now head into the main temple complex where some groovy music is playing, and all attention is on an old looking dude sitting up above underneath a golden arch. It's real gold too. He must be very good at his job to be able to afford all that gold.
After a quick respectful bow as we walk past, we're back outside to fetch our shoes. One farewell and thank you to our temple guide later and we stroll down the road toward the large red wall we can see in the distance.

Red fort is a pretty cool area with large walls and big open spaces that I really can't be bothered talking about so you'll just have to look at the pictures below.

What? I'm not a tour guide. Stop judging me.

Back in Main Bazaar again for the evening and it's time to wind down with some lassi and street food because I'm a fat fat fattyyyyyy. The going rate here seems to be 20 rupees for a dish.